Sunday, October 14, 2012

Gonna Pitch My Tent In The Land Of Hope

Well, the awesome overtime and money that I mentioned in my last post has not come to be. Too many hands in the pot trying to decide how this is going to happen. A little bit of training is involved and system access. At this point, not honestly sure if it is going to happen at all. Also, conflicting stories on if it is truly unlimited overtime where I could basically name my hours vs. it might be a couple of hours a week. If that's the case, it's not worth it. For now, I am trying to go with the flow and just keep trying to get the training needed and go from there.

Went to dinner with some high school friends last night. Very nice to get out and just be with adults and chill out. The intent was that all the graduates in my class that live in this area would go. One other had said he was, but had a sick kid. So, it was just me and one other couple ...sittinng at a table for 9 LOL. Kind of sad. However, even though I'm disappointed that the event didn't turn out like planned, I still truly enjoyed the company I was with and was able to endulge in some Pumpkin Ale.

Doing my hardest to have faith in God and that he has a plan for me. Joel Osteen talked this morning about pitching your tent in the land of hope and knowing that God has intent behind everything that happens to  you. So, I forge on, finances are pretty meek right now. All I can do it keep going and hope that something better is to come.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Here we go again again ...

     Fall is officially, school, pumpkin this & pumpkin that, cooler air, jeans, boots, and countdown to Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All in all, fall has to be my favorite season. Should be anyhow. With dad gone now, things are never going to be the same.  I know that my head tells me to forge on, force myself to do the things we would normally do. Dad would want it that way. Just can't wrap my heart or head around it all.  I know the heartache is going to take time and will never go away. Just wish I didn't feel so alone. In some aspects, I not only lost my dad, but my mom as well. I won't elaborate on that right now.

I'm so completely mentally and physically exhausted. Something has to give. I've been looking for a second job since my work has cut off all overtime. I did get some really awesome news yesterday. My boss has offered me to go help in another fraud related department. She says OT is unlimited there and they really need my help/expertise. She gave me the news yesterday. My initial reaction is "Yeah. Wahhooooo! Finally a light at the end of the tunnel!". However, I'm having to keep myself from not floating away over this news because she was supposed to get back with me before I left work yesterday when or how soon it would start, and she didn't. Not many people would look at a second job so to speak as a good thing. I am just so tired of living paycheck to paycheck. And as of lately, not even that is good enough. Struggling really really bad with extra expenses that keep popping up and other things that I can't discuss just yet. Second job isn't a choice. And the glory of it is it's time and a half of what I currently make vs. way way less than if I went somewhere else outside of my organization.

I just really really want things to not be such a struggle. I want to be happy.

That's my little pity party. All done. Go home.

Friday, June 3, 2011

My Favorite Author

I am constantly looking at Amazon. I love the fact that you can go there and find anything and everything you could possibly need or want. My Wish List . I have to say if you want to know one itty bitty fact about me, I love love love anything written by Nicholas Sparks. You'll see on my wish list that I have most, if not all, of his books in hardback. I have most of them in paperback. However, I want them all in hardback. It's actually even on my bucket list to have these.  My hope is someday to take The Notebook  (or any of his books for that matter) to meet him in person and have him sign it for me.  Of course, I haven't read a single book of his that hasn't touched me in some way. His writings touch me me so deeply and say things I have felt or thought in a way I could never put into words.

"I finally understood what true love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."
Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)
"While I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days with your heart."
Nicholas Sparks (Nights in Rodanthe)
"I love you, not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you’ll take me in your arms again."
Nicholas Sparks (Dear John)
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Loves is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It dose not take offense and is not resentful. Love take no pleasure in others people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes."
Nicholas Sparks (A Walk to Remember)
Dang! I'm looking at these quotes, it's difficult to pick some to share. But these definitely have to be some of the better ones!

To blog or not to blog....

that is the question. I have  been wanting to go back to blogging for some time now. I need an outlet of some kind. I know this will be somewhat censored, but it will be better than nothing. Somewhere to place my thoughts, things going on, things that matter to me, etc. I was blogging several years ago and it had good and bad outcomes. One of the things that stands out to me is I am blogging for me....not you!  If I use the wording me or mine, that is what I mean. It may be ours, but for my purpose of writing it is mine, not yours. You can get your own blog.