Here we go again again ...

     Fall is officially here...football, school, pumpkin this & pumpkin that, cooler air, jeans, boots, and countdown to Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All in all, fall has to be my favorite season. Should be anyhow. With dad gone now, things are never going to be the same.  I know that my head tells me to forge on, force myself to do the things we would normally do. Dad would want it that way. Just can't wrap my heart or head around it all.  I know the heartache is going to take time and will never go away. Just wish I didn't feel so alone. In some aspects, I not only lost my dad, but my mom as well. I won't elaborate on that right now.

I'm so completely mentally and physically exhausted. Something has to give. I've been looking for a second job since my work has cut off all overtime. I did get some really awesome news yesterday. My boss has offered me to go help in another fraud related department. She says OT is unlimited there and they really need my help/expertise. She gave me the news yesterday. My initial reaction is "Yeah. Wahhooooo! Finally a light at the end of the tunnel!". However, I'm having to keep myself from not floating away over this news because she was supposed to get back with me before I left work yesterday when or how soon it would start, and she didn't. Not many people would look at a second job so to speak as a good thing. I am just so tired of living paycheck to paycheck. And as of lately, not even that is good enough. Struggling really really bad with extra expenses that keep popping up and other things that I can't discuss just yet. Second job isn't a choice. And the glory of it is it's time and a half of what I currently make vs. way way less than if I went somewhere else outside of my organization.

I just really really want things to not be such a struggle. I want to be happy.

That's my little pity party. All done. Go home.